I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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