So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
