Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
