Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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