Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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