Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
