You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
