she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
