Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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