first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
