So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
