does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
