I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Come see our sink grown plant.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
