I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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