who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
