Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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