I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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