If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Is Oprah even human
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
