Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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