i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
