you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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