Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just blew my weed a kiss
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
