I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
