I need help removing her.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
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