I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I look better un-naked...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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