She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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