i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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