ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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