i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
