did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
