mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
