Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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