I'm lost and stupid without you.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
