The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
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