I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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