just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
