okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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