he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
