We're like a lot better than the average bears
4 words: hood of his car
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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