seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
