think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
