Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
