A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
