apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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