his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
