Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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