i jhust puked up my retainher.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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