Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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