omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
