I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You don't make any sense
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